Yearning sucks.
I have been on the desperate verge of yearning. As a poet this is the expected form to exist in.
Lately—yearning—feels like suffocating while sitting in a pretty bow and painfully waiting, it’s not a seed of hope but a disempowered suffering.
Fall in love with a poet — they will immortalize you
This is no longer a compliment for me.
With Pluto in scorpio in my home of informing, becoming a statue of yearning or a representative has lost its luster.
There is a mystification a romanticizing that misses the point. I think even Mars retrograde asks what haven’t you been brave about lately?
Scorpio season and Venus retrograde colors everything Oxblood and Phoenix Rust orange. Celebrated by nostalgia and rushed into by those tired of summer.
I find the deeply suppressed truth: yearning while being a lunar flood and affixed with the past Moon in Taurus, came bubbling to my surprised self.
Stillness taunts and escapism within yearning is no longer an option.
Scorpio is often wound so tightly around their emotions; it can become a pool of still waters.
Love [often weaponized and blurry boundaries] can feel like poison based on the upbringing they have experienced. Accused of being too much.
Scorpio many tomes is left; yearning for better, for softness, for support, for more potentially met with betrayal or neglect.
Scorpio season and Venus retrograde asks us where have we been denied (either by ourselves or externally) truth?
Where have we swallowed our truth until it festered and trust was severed?
To be rendered capable & invisible has been the plight of the Pluto in Scorpio generation. It makes me wonder how many of our parents were slammed with this wall of assigned burden and disempowerment.
How much have we inherited and fought to shed it?
Now many of our parents are filled with fear for our aspirations. All the while having deep yearnings of their own survival may have convinced them out of.
There is a fork road we all reach eventually do I become consumed by yearning or envelop myself in moving towards the Possibilities regardless Of outcome?
What will i do with my yearning?
We often believe we have no choice but to give in to the madness—realizing—yearning is romanticized suffering.
What of the ending before anything ever started? The bloom turned morose and retelling a story that is rooted in yesterday’s results. The proof of a self fulfilling prophecy.
Suffering is made mysterious, intense, beautiful and silent. Autumn and the death of it all leaves an impression that endings are beautiful. And they can be.
The new moon this month in Scorpio embodied Eartha Kitt for me “compromise? FOR WHAT?”
What has suppressing my hope truly Protected me from? The feeling of being a fool? It is not enough
Moving forward this “cringe” or fear of being vulnerable & expressive beyond the page—emerges from the ashes of old surpassing the fear of softness being met with carelessness.
To be yearned for by dormant love interests leaves little poetry for me to explore. Almost can only be on repeat so long until the keys lose their letters, the pen loses ink, a swamp fills and no thing moves.
There are too many self proclaimed lovers and not practicing lovers. So many people yearn and starve from relationships that refuse to dive in the still waters to experience and discover what lies beneath.
Yearning is an assumption of desire, a theory of dreams and possibilities. It is an assigned arduousness filled with metaphors. It isnt inherently bad/good. But as a solo activity or requirement of a lover leaves an incomplete wanting.
Yearning becomes a passiveness that disempowers a hope that grew.
There is magic that emerges when a step is taken towards possibility.
When there is curiosity and active mutual passion, yearning expands—becomes a dance, an intricacy of curated nuances, a living intention to discover the world within together.
For this New Moon in Scorpio and retrograde realization is to live outside of the obscurity that yearning provides.